Friday, September 29, 2006

Mommy Lisa?

Researchers may have found the answer to the age old question, “What is the Mona Lisa smiling about?
She could have been pregnant! Or just have delivered her baby.
The greenish looking cape around the Mona Lisa’s shoulders might actually a guarnello – a gauzy veil worn by pregnant women and women who had just given birth.
The paint darkened with age and that’s why it looks green or almost black now.
Teams from the National Research Council of Canada used 3-D images to come up with this theory.
I think that’s really cool, and as a co-worker of mine pointed out, the Mona Lisa now joins a fairly exclusive club of posing pregnant women – Demi Moore and Britney Spears.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Ugly Pants

I did it this morning. I finally broke down and wore a pair of stretchy pants my mom talked me into buying when I was early in my pregnancy.
They aren’t maternity. They are just awful.
Remember those dorky stretchpants your 3rd grade teacher used to wear? Well if you take those, mix them with those leisure suit double-knit polyester styles from the 70's (without the bell-bottoms) and make them a tan color, then you can probably picture how ugly these bottoms really are.
At least they aren’t double-knit polyester. They’re an almost as awful thick stretchy knit material.
They also aren’t clingy and tight. They’re kind of baggy, but taper at the ankles, which just makes my legs look wider (the ice cream cone effect ala What Not to Wear. )
On top of all this, they are fairly short – hitting right at the top of my foot. This means I can’t even try to dress them up with heels or anything.
One of us isn’t complaining though. Little Elvis kicked and poked me all day yesterday. Today, the baby has been much less aggressive. This has made my bladder happier as well.
I’ll try to remember how happy the baby is each time I walk by a mirror or look at my lap today. Maybe that will help me forget my vanity.
Any of you battling with this? I hate to wish ugly clothes on anyone, but would like to know that I’m not alone in this land of stretchy, shapeless slacks.

Blushing Mommy

I normally can blush pretty easily. But talking on the phone used to not bring a bright red color to my cheeks – it does now.
Talking to more than one person? I feel the heat rising from my chest to my face
Public situations are even worse. I think about talking and flush. This will usually keep me from talking, which isn’t a good thing. I need to be more assertive at work, and I don’t want to wait until after Little Elvis is born to start taking more initiative.
Since I’m naturally the color of a cotton ball, the bright red face is extremely apparent.
I’ve been trying to talk through the redness when I’m around others. This just makes me hotter and I’m pretty sure I get redder.
I’m sure lots of my co-workers must think they are hurting my feelings because I keep blushing any time I’m around them.
The double-edged sword here is that my constant blushing embarrasses me and that makes my cheeks burn even more in shame.
So, is this hormonal? Is it a pregnancy thing? Or am I just more sensitive to this crazy habit?

Little Elvis Lets Presence Be Known

I’m about 18 and a half weeks and have been fussing for two days because I can’t feel Little Elvis moving.
I thought this movement would feel kind of neat and exciting. I didn’t expect to be kind of painful, but I think that makes sense.
All day today, I have felt weird little twinges behind my belly button and on my bladder. The doctor said Little Elvis was active, and from all these twinges, I definitely agree!
Actually, this shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. I am a born fidgeter. I don’t really sit still. I cross my legs and constantly swing the one on top. If my legs aren’t swinging, then my feet are tapping. If my uncross my legs, then I will kick them in front of me. In a meeting, I will methodically shred the top of my notebook.
I am sure my cubicle mates are sick of my constant movement.
My husband is also pretty active. While I am content to just move my legs or hands, he likes to be “doing” something. I think this is decidedly male. If I mention thinking about getting some water, he will get up and get it. (This has definitely spoiled me, and this was common BEFORE I was pregnant. I am too lucky.)
I feel Little Elvis a lot more when I’m standing up or walking. When I’m sitting, the twinges are much rarer.Am I feeling Little Elvis, or is my stomach playing tricks on me? What did you feel when your baby first started moving around?

Monday, September 25, 2006

Pregnancy is Changing Me

Yes, my body is changing, but that’s not the change I’m talking about here. Even though I’m only four months along, my outlook and even some beliefs have changed.
The most dramatic one is my stance on smoking. I’m not a smoker, but I’ve never had anything in particular against people who did smoke. (In fact for most of my teens and early 20s, I thought smoking looked really cool, which I know is really dorky.)
Well, that has changed completely. I’m definitely more sensitive to the smell, but I also want to do whatever I can to ensure Little Elvis doesn’t get asthma. (If my crazy allergies are inherited that will be enough!)
Last weekend we went to an outdoor festival and were surrounded by smokers. This frustrated me to no end. I’m still not really showing, so these people had no way of knowing that the woman they were blowing smoke in the face of was pregnant. Still.
After 2 days of dodging the puffs, I really wanted to outlaw smoking outdoors. I know, I know, if people want to risk their health and smoke, they should be allowed to. But why do they have to risk my health and the health of my baby, too?
I came to the decision that smoking is the most selfish habit (aside from drunk driving) that a person can have.
I also decided that at this festival, they should have cordoned off an area by the port-a-potties for the smokers. That way, the rest of the festival would be enjoyable for all the other people (especially kids and older people).
This is an odd stance for me. Normally I’m all for our rights to be who we are, but I guess my pregnancy has already begun changing my ideals.
Maybe my parents were right, “When you have kids you will understand.”
I wonder how many more changes I will go through once Little Elvis actually arrives. I’ll probably want to outlaw bad breath, or maybe I’ll give up cussing!
Guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Have any of you experienced ideological changes? If so, what?

When Will I “Feel” Pregnant?

We had our third or fourth doctor’s appointment today. I honestly thought we would find out if Little Elvis would be a boy or a girl, but that hope was soon shut down.
Apparently they don’t even “do” that type of sonogram at the office. I got a prescription to call some other place so our insurance could pay them to do it.
I honestly feel like the doctor’s office is just milking me for insurance money, but that’s another story and I hate to slam the people that will be delivering Little E. (Let me just add here that on top of everything, we have to pay to park at this doctor’s office—money grubbers!)
The doctor did have the capability to listen to Little Elvis’ heart. We could hear it too, and it sounded a lot more like a heartbeat than the listen we got last month. The doctor was making a weird face while moving the device around my stomach. The heartbeat sounded a lot louder with different movements. The doc then asked me if I felt the baby move yet. I told him I hadn’t. And he said I would be soon because Little Elvis was extremely active.
Apparently in the 30 seconds that the doctor was listening to the heart, Little Elvis went from the top of my uterus (I’m assuming this here) to the bottom and then darted a little to the right.
This really excites me. I know I’m pregnant, I’ve missed periods, the pregnancy test showed positive and the doctor’s seem to agree that I’m pregnant, but I haven’t “felt” pregnant.
This could be because I have no idea what it is like to “feel” pregnant. My waist is a lot thicker, but my stomach isn’t really hard. My belly doesn’t stick out like I think a pregnant woman’s tummy should stick out. And I certainly haven’t felt Little Elvis moving around.
I can’t imagine what it will really feel like when I do feel movement. I’ve heard that it feels like a flutter, but I’ve also heard that you can feel actual kicks.
If Little Elvis is anything like me or Bob, then there will probably be lots of movement. I’m a constant fidgeter and we both toss and turn a lot in our sleep.
I think it will be so fun (I hope it’s not painful) to feel Little Elvis and for Bob to feel Little Elvis.
Have you felt movement? What’s the best description of it? Were you as excited about that?

Where’s my glow?

Ever heard about pregnant women who “glow”? Well, I haven’t been glowing. I just looked haggard during the first trimester. Now I look like an 8th grader (at least my skin looks like that of an 8th graders’).
Bob read in the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting Book” that the whole “glow” was a myth.
My face does “shine”. I look in the mirror halfway through my workday and can practically see my reflection on my nose! This is definitely the reason that I’m getting more pimples, because I’m wearing matte base that’s not supposed to allow in any shine all day.
I wish I did glow, though. It would be nice if my face got prettier while my body got lumpier.
I’ll keep hoping for that day.
Are you glowing? If so, expect to receive some envy on my part… unless you have tips to help me start “glowing” as well.

Sometimes a Bladder is just a Bladder

I really don’t know much about pregnancy. Ask me to point out a fallopian tube, and I’d probably send you in the direction of the intestines.
What is an ovary shaped like? I’ll guess an egg, but it would be a lucky guess if I’m right.
When the doctor showed me a picture of the female anatomy, I honestly thought, “That’s not what I look like.”
Needless to say, this whole knowing when my uterus gets hard, (that’s what gets hard right?) has thrown me for a loop. I know it’s supposed to, but when?
Well, the other morning I woke up and put my hand on my stomach to see how much I had grown and it felt hard!
I had Bob rub my tummy and was so proud… then I went to the bathroom and my hard tummy was gone.
Apparently my bladder was just full. It was not a hard uterus with a happy Little Elvis inside.
Poor Bob, what other man gets forced to feel his wife’s full bladder?
I felt kind of silly telling him, but he just laughed. At least he has a good attitude about it.
Is your tummy hard? When did it happen? Are you as mystified about all of this as I apparently am? Let me know.

I Forgot My Mascara… Again

I know pregnant women are supposed to be forgetful and have memory issues, but I thought that wouldn’t happen until late in the pregnancy.
I am constantly forgetting words – the weirder, the better.
I forgot the word paparazzi the other day. How can anyone forget that in today’s climate? Everything seems to be about celebrities and the camera-lugging folks that follow them.
My immediate co-workers are being very understanding of the strange forgetfulness, which is really nice of them. I’m sure that most of what I’m saying at this point doesn’t make too much sense.
I’ve also developed the bad habit of starting a thought and then losing it. I just stop talking. So far, this has only happened in front of Bob. I’m also pretty sure that this was a common occurrence before Little Elvis, it’s just that I’m noticing it more now.
Those aren’t the worst example of my forgetfulness, though.
About once a week I forget to put on mascara. I do the whole shebang with the rest of my make-up - SPF moisturizer, base, eye shadow and blush – but somehow forget the item that makes me look awake and attentive.
I’ll get into the bathroom at work around 10:30 and look in the mirror and think I look so tired. Then it hits me, I forgot the mascara… again.
My mom says I need to have mascara in my drawer at work. She also thinks I need to have shoes and socks in my drawer at work. If she had her way, I would just have a whole wardrobe and my bathroom cabinet stuffed into a drawer at work.
I can’t just have a backup for everything that I keep forgetting. And me getting Bob to tell me I’ve left off make-up is a no-go. I think he’s scared of how I’ll react if he ever tells me, “Yes, you do look fat in that.” Or “Sweetie, you forgot your mascara and look like a drowned rat.”
He has every reason to be worried about this. I like his lies. (He tells me I don’t need make-up, and as a very pale person with a broken out face I know this isn’t true.) I would probably cry if he actually told me the truth.
Have you forgotten normal routine habits? How are you remembering to apply your mascara?

Two for the Price of One?

I’m a worrier. This is not unusual, but today the craziest fear found its way into my mind—What if the doctor was wrong and we are having twins?!?
Let me explain, my dad is an identical twin. The rumor is they skip generations. Since I’m not a twin, there’s a chance I could have twins.
Let me also explain that I think twins would be great, just not right now. My husband and I are complete newbies. We know nothing about this whole parenting thing. I am an only child and he was the baby of his family. That means we don’t really have much “hands-on” experience with babies.
There is so much that we don’t know about babies, and we both have so much to learn. I think it would be a lot easier the first go-round to have one baby. Does that make sense?
I still do want twins—even though the stories my grandparents and aunt tell me about my dad and his brother are pretty scary at times. My mom says I was a good baby, but I’ve heard that saying about the sins of the father being passed onto the daughter. I feel I need to have some experience under my belt before I feel up to the task of taking on two babies at once.
Let me also say that although I’m sure the doctor is right and Little Elvis is not Little Elvi, we would obviously try our best if the doctor was wrong.
Do you think this is a valid concern? Am I just looking for things to worry myself over (this is very likely the case as I’ve always done that)?
Do you have twins? Did you have them your first go ‘round? I would love your opinions on this.

Energy has returned!

This is a banner day! (September 6 – Week 15, Day 5) My energy has FINALLY really returned. I thought it was supposed to return once I was out of my third month and told everyone it had, but I spent last weekend dozing on and off through college football, which I usually find pretty exciting.
Then, I just felt different. I had energy. Ten o’clock rolled around and I wasn’t dozing or heading off for bed. I didn’t even feel my usual sleepiness around 1 in the afternoon—for the past few months I’ve typically been in a meeting around this time and have spent the entire time yawning and trying to keep my head from bobbing. I’m not a doodler, so I usually end up scribbling lots of dark lines all around my notebook. I’m sure my co-workers think I’m mental.
I don’t feel like I can conquer the world or anything, but for the first time in a long time, I cut out some patterns last night (sewing is a hobby of mine). That’s a really nice feeling. I hope it lasts. I’m sure I’ll need this energy after Little Elvis arrives.

Itchy, fussy, whiny and the baby isn’t even kicking yet

I have allergies. They have been a thorn in my side for years, but over the past two weeks they’ve gotten so much worse.

We moved to a new place, but we got those room filter things that run all the time and I don’t see mold or anything like that anywhere in the house. There isn’t a basement, and Bob’s been in the attic. We’re pretty sure it’s not the new location.

I read in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” that nasal stuffiness and nosebleeds were common in the fourth month. Thanks to all the hormones.

Want to know when I read it? About 1:30 this morning while Bob was scrubbing at mildew and I was nursing my poor nose. I woke up about 30 minutes earlier completely miserable.

Apparently I like to rub my nose in my sleep when it itches and I had rubbed it raw. It hurt so much. We started the humidifier again, although we’re both pretty sure it’s broken, and I took more allergy medicine. I also put medicine on my sore nose where I had itched it so much.

I’m so thankful that Bob is so nice to me at times like this. I know I have to be getting harder to live with, and I know I wasn’t very easy to begin with. I mean I woke the poor man up fussing and practically crying over my sore nose and (I’m sure) saying nonsensical things.

I don’t know if many men would clean up mildew under a bathroom sink at 1 in the morning because their fussy wives have made their noses bleed.

I just keep hoping I’ll regain a little sense of normalcy soon so I can try and be a better wife for him. I feel like all I do is sleep, sneeze and fuss. (and watch Project Runway and lots of football!)

Have any of you felt like you’ve become horrible wives since you found out you were pregnant? Please tell me it isn’t just me!!

What about Bob?

So, I’m having issues telling my co-workers I’m pregnant. The ones in my department that I work most closely with know because my boss let me announce it at the end of our last meeting. But I work in company of more than 200 people, maybe 25 percent of whom I actually know and have conversations with. I haven’t told many of them.

This hasn’t been too bad, because one of the co-workers I told early on has been spreading the news for me. He’s very nice to do that for me, since I can’t find the words to tell people myself.

Yesterday, I was sitting by myself in a meeting with a co-worker that I like. We were the first ones there. She asked how I was feeling, perfect opportunity to share my news, right? I told her I was fine.

I don’t know, when I ask people how they are, I’m just being polite and I don’t want to be hit with a major bomb.

Ok, that’s a stupid excuse. Let me tell you what happened the day before…

I got into the elevator with another co-worker who was leaving work early for her daughter’s 14th birthday. She asked how things were going and I said, “I’m pregnant!”

She jumped up and down and was excited and then what did she ask me? “How is your husband handling it?”

What? I seem like someone who would trick my poor husband into having a baby? How do I answer that? I said, “He’s excited.” But I was thinking bad replies to myself. Do I seem so sneaky that I would trick the poor man?

I told Bob about her odd reaction and he said I should have told her, “It’s not his, so I’m not telling him!”

I was thinking more along the lines of, “Well, the bruises are starting to fade…”

Is this a normal reaction from people? Am I just being too sensitive? What do you say to these questions? Should I prepare myself for them to get even more intrusive? (I refuse to tell people what I weigh!!)

How are you? I’m pregnant.

So, actually telling people that I’m pregnant is a little weird. Telling my husband wasn’t even easy (it was weird), and he knew of our plans!

My hands were shaking when I told my parents, and I was nervous when Bob told his dad and brother.

I can’t tell you why, but I was. Maybe because this is an actual admission of what we’ve been doing in our spare time. We’ve been married 4 years, so I’m sure it’s expected and known, but I certainly don’t talk about it with family!

Once we told family, and got it confirmed by the doctor, I decided I didn’t want to tell people until we were into the second trimester. I thought Bob felt the same way, but apparently not. He told all of his co-workers, all of his friends and even the refrigerator repairman who came to fix our busted freezer.

My parents also told everyone and anyone who would listen.

I only told my best friend from high school and two co-workers that I really liked and trusted.

Telling them was a little weird, too. I knew they would all be happy and excited, (which they were) but still.

A week later I told my boss because my mom was convinced she would be mad (she wasn’t). I was so nervous that I think the way I approached her had her worried too.

Me: (taking a deep breath and looking very serious) “I have some news.”
Her: (tentative and worried) “What?”
Me: “I’m pregnant.”
Her: “Congratulations!!”

Then, I just kept my mouth shut and tried not to act too obvious about my pregnancy for 4 weeks. Working with mainly men, this was extremely easy.

When I was 11 weeks pregnant, we went to my ten year high school reunion. Since lots of my classmates have kids or were pregnant, this should have been the easiest place in the world for me to tell my news.

It was still uncomfortable, but I had to do it now. I had gained four pounds and felt huge. I was bound and determined to let them know why I had gained that weight since I had last seen them.

Telling them was just awkward. They would be talking about life or food and I would just blurt out, “Well, I’m pregnant.”

Obviously, the people I told were excited, but there were lots of people I didn’t tell because I just didn't know how to fit it into the conversation.

Fellow Graduate: DC’s hot!
Me: Yes, it’s as hot as Mississippi in the summer.
FG: No, I meant kind of cool.
Me: Oh… that too!
End of conversation.

Now where would "I'm pregnant fit in?"

Just to let you know, I also sewed and designed the clothes I wore to the reunion (I was a little overdressed, but to quote my fellow graduate, I looked “hot!”) Did I tell people? Not really. One graduate worked in fashion and Bob told her that I had designed my dress. I also managed to tell one group of girls and they spread the word a little, but for the most part, I just kept that to myself as well.

If I can’t tell the world that I designed and sewed the kick-ass dress I wore to the reunion, how can I tell people I’m pregnant?

Slappy Acts Out

We have two normally wonderful cats—Slappy and Wally. Both are the smartest, cutest, prettiest, sweetest, most interesting cats ever. Usually.

But we moved to a new place last week and they are still getting used to the changes.

We always put them in a big cage for moving, because Slappy is sneaky and will get under the drivers’ feet if given the chance.

This means for every trip to the vet and every move they are jailed in their big cage, and these trips rarely end pleasantly. They never know if they are going to have their temperature taken (we all know how vets have to do that and the cats do not enjoy it) or they might have to get on an air cargo plane.

This last move should have left them with a more pleasant taste in their little mouths. But somehow we picked up fleas on the trek from the car to the house.

This means that in the last week, the cats have been locked out of our bedroom, been given baths, been sprayed with flea spray and had the back of their necks doused with flea medicine.

That doesn’t even consider all the itching they’ve been doing to get rid of the fleas on their own. Poor Slappy has scratched a hole in the fur over one of her eyes and Wally has a spot on his arm that is now fur free.

Well, last night I decided that they finally seemed flea free. We opened our bedroom door and let them join us. This made both of them ecstatic and the room was a lot cooler (which I really liked).

Then, at 12:30, we both awoke to a clapping (I could even say it was a Slapping) noise. Every few minutes we would hear this.

Turns out Slappy had discovered a new game. Jump into the windowsill above Meredith and Bob’s heads and then bound back to the bed, letting the mini-blinds slap the window loudly.

This is apparently a very, very fun game for a cat.

She was standing by my head, prepping for her next jump, when I caught her and stopped her. She just meow-ed at me and stared at the window. After a few minutes, I started to fall asleep again and let my hand slide off of her.

That’s when she started to make her move again! Bob caught her and she just wailed and whined at us for ruining her fun.

I picked her up and grabbed the un-offending Wally and deposited them both in the hall and shut the door behind me. We were both fairly wide awake at this point, though.

Slappy usually doesn’t repeatedly disobey us and is rarely so determined to do something like that.

I think the move, the fleas and possibly the difference in the way Bob and I are acting has gotten to her. I also think both of the cats can sense (or smell) that something is different with me.

Maybe I’m wrong, do you have any suggestions to keep Slappy out of the window (remember it’s right over our heads) or ideas why she is acting like this? I would love to hear your ideas.

Don’t Cry Over Mis-titled DVD Sections

Ok, so I’m emotional. And according to my husband, this is nothing new. I didn’t realize that I was usually so crazy emotionally, but he says I am. I think he would have to admit that I’m more moody than usual, though. I take just about everything as a slight against me.

We decided to go on a shopping trip on Sunday evening. The stores we wanted to hit were Pier 1, Borders and Home Depot (we have gift cards for all 3). Bob and I are cheap, but we thought $100 would buy us something at Pier 1. We found nothing that was even remotely interesting for $100. I just wandered around the store, getting angrier and angrier. How dare they charge so much for a wicker ottoman? How dare they not have sheets or something that I could actually use? How dare all three of the workers keep following us around? I was very upset and took it as a personal affront that Pier 1 had suddenly become unaffordable in my opinion. I was working myself up when of the workers who had been following us around said they had closed the store 10 minutes ago. Suddenly, I felt awful. Those poor teens weren’t following me because they thought I was a shoplifter, they just wanted to go home because they had been at work all day. We bought our $7 garbage can and left (me with my tail between my legs).

The next stop was Borders Books, I had a $25 gift card and wanted to buy pregnancy exercise DVDs. Well, the Borders near us apparently charges for parking! We ended up parking in a bank parking lot (it was Sunday evening so we figured we wouldn’t get towed) and walking quite a bit to get to the store. Once inside, all I saw were books and stationary! I know it’s a book store, but I thought most carried DVDs, or at the very least exercise books. I started to get angry immediately at this Borders, but my husband kindly pointed out that there was a second level that would have exactly what I wanted.
I left him in the clearance section and went upstairs by myself. I found DVDs and luckily there were signs over sections that were supposed to tell me where to go. I walked to the area clearly marked exercise DVDs and saw a wall of rock concerts! There were DVDs of the Rolling Stones and U2 and lots of other bands, but I couldn’t see them because my eyes were starting to tear up. Did they expect me to prance around like Mick Jagger as my exercise? Feel penitent and instead spend my gift card buying expensive chocolates to ship to 3rd world countries for Bono?

I walked to the beginning of the DVD section and hoped that maybe there was a new release of an exercise video—no such luck. I went back and stared at the wall of concerts and the sign that clearly read “Exercise DVDs” and blinked back tears. Why would Borders not want me to exercise?

Bob found me rifling through DVDs that were obviously not what I wanted. I pointed out the sign and the actual contents under the sign and felt my face getting red with the indignity of it all.

He calmly walked to the other side of the wall and found a whole wall of exercise DVDs with half a row dedicated to pre- and postnatal exercises. Apparently Borders does carry such DVDs, this store just didn’t mark them correctly. We picked out two and were on our merry way. (Bob kind of liked the idea of exercising by mimicking Mick though.)
Then we went to Home Depot and encountered yet another store on the verge of closing. At least this time I didn’t get angry at the store workers for following us around. Home Depot just announced over the intercom that we needed to get our stuff and get going.
The person who rang us up wasn’t the most pleasant, but I think I would have found her attitude awful even if I wasn’t pregnant.

The crying over mismarked DVD sections is a little odd, though. Have you experienced crazy mood swings like that, or gotten teary over crazy, crazy things? Let me know! I hope I’m not the only person who gets so weepy so easily.

Itching is the Pits

Obviously extreme fatigue, heartburn and restless legs aren’t the only strange occurrences in my life right now. No, the hormones coursing through my veins have wreaked havoc in other places as well.

For one, my armpits itch and feel swollen and feverish. At first I thought something crazy was going on with my lymph nodes. My doctor didn’t really have time for me at my appointment, so I only managed to squeeze in a few questions while she ushered me to the receptionist. The armpit thing was tops on my list (I can become quite a hypochondriac when my body does weird things). She just said, “Yeah?” when I told her that my armpits were hot and itchy. Apparently this is common and I shouldn’t have been wasting her time asking such a question. She didn’t waste time telling me what caused this.

The fever in my pits has subsided, but they still itch all the time. It’s uncomfortable when I’m at work, because I feel like a monkey raising my arm up to scratch to my heart’s content.

And don’t suggest hydrocortisone to me. I refuse to not wear deodorant (remember the fever?) and it renders the hydrocortisone useless. At least Bob and our cats don’t seem to mind when I itch my armpits in front of them. I do try to make sure I’m not near a window, though, because I don’t want our neighbors to think I’m a Neanderthal.
Enough of the fussing. They don’t bother me as much as the fact that I didn’t know to expect them does.

There are definitely perks to the pregnancy:
-When I want to eat, I can and no one seems shocked or is insulting of that fact.
-We moved a few weeks ago, and I didn’t have to lug around anything heavy. This means I didn’t get hurt. Usually I will suffer at least a few cuts, bruises and sore fingers. Not this time!
-My chest is getting bigger. As someone who never fills out any tops, this is pretty exciting.
-And the best part is the special feeling that our whole world is about to change in a huge, exciting way.

What are you guys going through? Did you expect it? Is it just awful, or can you see a light at the end of the tunnel?

Why didn’t anyone tell me this stuff?

There’s a lot more to being pregnant than I thought there would be. I figured I’d have some morning sickness and gain some weight, but there are several things I haven’t counted on.

Did you know that you can experience fatigue in early pregnancy? I didn’t. No one talked about this – at least not to me. I’m typically a pretty active person, but for about 6 weeks all I did was feel lazy and tired. My commute at the time was about an hour and a half each way. I would sleep for the 45 minutes it took my husband to drive me to the metro, doze for the 35 minute ride on the metro (I never missed my stop!) and then have to practically drag myself through the four block walk to work. I would then spend most of the work day struggling to keep my eyes open, sleep on the drive home and sleep on the loveseat until bedtime. Occasionally my husband could talk me into walking, but for the most part I was too tired.

I practically slept an entire weekend. Bob (husband) was able to watch all of a major golf tournament (Tiger won and cried) and lots of baseball. Normally I will fuss about baseball, but I was too tired to even grumble about it.

I was also too tired and too irritable to read the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book that my cousin was kind enough to loan to me. Bob ended up reading and confirming that the exhaustion was normal – as were the heartburn and restless legs.

BOTH of these are apparently common for pregnant women. No one ever told me this!!!

Amazingly, the naps while in the car, on the metro and on the couch were uneventful. But once I hit the bed at night my legs wouldn’t stop moving! It was like they were paying me back for a day of sloth by kicking out their frustrations. I literally (this could all be in my head here) felt the nerve impulses shooting through my legs and occasionally my arms. It was frustrating and made me even more irritable. Bob tried to tell me it was common and I fussed because there was NO WAY this was common. What do restless legs have to do with pregnancy?

Another body part that I don’t feel should be involved in pregnancy is my esophagus. I know I have to swallow and food is important, but once I’ve swallowed, I shouldn’t have to think about my throat. That is just my opinion. My esophagus, though, had an entirely different theory that it practiced. It would burn all day long. Sometimes the heartburn was fast and searing. Other times it took a slow burning approach. Either way, it hurt and just added to my fussfest. Bob (who is being very saintly) said the book (which I hated at this point) told him that chewing gum might help. I have been diligently chewing and smacking my gum ever since. Miraculously, the heartburn has gone down and now I know why Britney Spears was chewing gum during that Matt Lauer interview. Poor thing didn’t want to look like a gum-smacking redneck, (I’m from Mississippi, so I know my rednecks) she was just trying to abate the fire burning through her esophagus.

Unfortunately, I can’t explain her other actions….

There are plenty of other ailments that I’ve experienced, but I have six months to expound on those and all the new ones that pop up (or out).

Why wasn’t I told of these ailments? Were the pregnant women I knew too nice to tell me about the craziness their bodies put them through? Were they just that lucky that they didn’t experience fatigue, restless legs or heartburn? Who knows? But I will do my best not to keep secrets from you. Some things I won’t share in this platform, because I’m a prude and that goes against my nature. If you have a more personal question about my experience and what you are going through, please write me. Depending on my level of moodiness, I might write back an answer.

Also, let me know if there’s anything I can expect in the upcoming months! As you can tell, I really appreciate knowing what I’m getting into.