Sunday, November 19, 2006

What's behind my crying games?

Sometimes I feel like the pregnancy is stressing me out. Other times I think it may just be that I've added so much to my plate since we found out I was pregnant.
On top of my job, (I leave at 8 in the morning to get to work by 9 and leave work at 6 in the evening to get home by 7 -- 11 hours, right?) I'm also trying to schedule podcasts and get them shot (which is very time consuming and actually hard to do when you don't have a product to show people) and I've written a book which I'm trying to get an agent interested in. Maybe it's not a lot, but sometimes it really feels that way.
Some nights I'm so stressed, I just cry. The first time I did this I think I really freaked Bob out. So now I go to the bathroom or some other room to just cry when the feeling hits me. I don't feel that I'm especially emotional due to the pregnancy and I hate to blame Little Elvis for this. I'm pretty sure it's not his fault. But I do feel like the work/podcast/please-like-me-agents! regime is enough to make anyone stressed, even if she isn't pregnant.
After that, it doesn't take much to make me well up. When the partner we're doing the podcasts with scolds me for not scheduling interviews to his liking and our interviewees just stop returning my calls I get angry and weepy. The occasional rejection letter from agents doesn't bother me too much at that point. I realize that those agents have a 95% rejection rate, so I'm just hoping to find someone interested in my novel (which has nothing to do with pregnancy by the way, I started it before I got pregnant and finished the first draft when I was probably 3 weeks along.)
There are other things that add to the stress as well-- I couldn't get a hold of my mom yesterday for several hours and was pretty worried; Bob has a friend that seems to think it's perfectly acceptable to kiss me on the lips and Bob won't tell him not to (apparently it's too weird to bring that up. I say it's weird to kiss your best friend's wife on the lips, especially when she backs away and squeals as you lean in); I sewed a dress for my best friend but she won't talk about it, which obviously means she hates it; and the Colts lose to the Cowboys (seriously, how did that happen?!) Those things pop up every day and just add to my weepy angst.
I worry that once Little Elvis arrives, I'll find even more to worry about and will cry 5 or 6 times every day.
Are any of you feeling more stressed? Should I blame my crying games on the pregnancy and not the amount of stress I keep heaping on myself?

9 Comments:

Anonymous Lauren Keim said...

I think you are lucky to have a husband that loves you and a job that doesn't seem to take a physical toll on your health. I am working full time, along with going to college, and I'm 21. I am not with my babies father, and we haven't really kept in touch at all. It's hard sometimes, but I've kept my head high. People tell me that I actually seem happier now that I'm pregnant, maybe it's because I feel that I have a reason to get up in the morning; my baby girl :-D I am a little over 28 weeks now, and I'm at the point where I get worn out pretty easy. I'm finding myself wanting to exercise, but instead, doing other things that I have to get done like cleaning or doing homework. I have a lot on my mind, and I just wish school was over. Luckily I'll have break in December, which will give me some time to take it easy. I keep thinking about what my girl will look like, and having dreams about her. I just really want to have her now, I am so excited, but also nervous at the same time. Sometimes I wonder if I could ever take care of a child, and afford to take care of her all by myself. I haven't really cried much throughout the pregnancy and I feel good. Anyway, hope everything goes well with you and your baby, take care.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

Good luck with you too! I'm sorry I sounded whiny, I've just always been a fairly huge multi-tasker and usually don't cry over little things, so I was wondering if it was caused by the pregnancy hormones.

It sounds like you're a week ahead of me, and I know exactly what you mean about wanting to meet your baby.

I truly hope everything works out for you and your baby. Are you going to take next semester off for the delivery, or just cut back on hours?

12:40 PM  
Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

Forgot to add one thing, I realize how truly lucky I am to have Bob and he has been way too patient with me and my craziness! (My latest craving is so zany, I'm really tempted not to write about it!)

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 27 weeks and I get the weepiness too sometimes, but a little less than I used to! It's definitely the pregnancy hormones--it has to be!

I'm SO excited to meet my little girl!

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Tiffany said...

My most vulnerable time is commercial breaks. Commercials are no doubt emotionally concentrated.

I use to roll my eyes but now I am holding a pillow against my face and telling my husband to stop looking at me!


P.S. Your husbands kissing friend is definitely creepy!

4:36 PM  
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