Friday, March 21, 2008

Comedy of errors

We love that Little Elvis can walk. Really, we do. Even when he's stretching his little puppy backpack/harness tail taut and screaming if we try to stop him.

Ever since he's learned to walk, shopping has become harder. At first, he wanted out of the shopping cart to help Mommy push. It took us longer to get around the store, but it wasn't so bad. And he looked super cute pushing that big basket.

Then he started basket jumping -- going from our cart to someone else's. I decided that this was obviously just proof that our son was super polite by offering to help other people push their carts.

But he's decided to branch out. He still occasionally wants to help push the buggy, but he also wants to run down aisles and pull stuff off the shelves. He's not picky, he will gladly clean anything off of those shelves. Still, that hasn't been too bad. He's only fussed a little when I've picked him up.

That was NOT the case today.

He has recently learned a new trick, which came in handy for him today at Wal-Mart. Little Elvis will now arch his back and make his entire body rigid when you try to put him somewhere that he doesn't approve of. These places include his diaper changing table, his car seat and shopping carts.

He pulled this little trick out of his bag and cried. So Bob pulled out his puppy backpack/harness.
Once Little Elvis was allowed to walk on his own, he started running for anything that he thought looked fun. This included bags of green plastic Easter grass and the make-up aisle.

I told him that Mommy didn't need any make-up, and reached for his hand to pull him along with me. He went limp (another fun new trick) and started crying. Bob picked him up, and he wailed.

Bob put him back down and he pushed the cart for 2 steps before trying to head down another make-up aisle. This time I picked him up. He went taut, bowing his little back like he was doing a backbend, and cried. We managed to get to the soap aisle with a fussy baby, so I put him down. He immediately grabbed a Softsoap bottle and began sucking on the pump. It was closed. I didn't take it out of his hands immediately. He was quiet for about a minute.

A kind lady told me that my son had a bottle of Softsoap in his mouth. I smiled and nodded and attempted to take it away from him. She quickly realized why he had that bottle in his little hands. I managed to get it from him and pick him up again. Again, a rigid body and an earful of pitiful wails. He also managed to chopblock my larynx, but I'm pretty sure this wasn't intentional.

During all of the craziness Bob somehow put our biggest coupon envelope (we have three, I am seriously a little mad about coupons) in another woman's cart. We were turning our cart upside down while holding onto a screaming Little Elvis when a kind woman came up to us with the coupon envelope.

What a mess. We decided not to browse through the baby clearance items and just leave. I actually left out some details, but this shopping trip was a true comedy of errors. From the trail of red gatorade that I spilled throughout the store, to the coupon mishap we had while checking out. Wal-Mart probably doesn't turn away any customers, but I'm sure they were thrilled when we left this afternoon.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whew. I am tired just reading that.

Memories of toddler shopping hell streaming back. I just stopped shopping with M at that age. It was way too difficult.

I love the "going limp" technique toddlers use. My niece Alex did that once when I was trying to put her in the car seat. It sure works well. I think I pulled every muscle in my back wrestling with her limp, heavy body. Ugh. Yup, no shopping with toddlers. You are brave...very brave.

11:39 PM  
Blogger Billy said...

Haha, he sounds like a handful. That's fun that he basket jumps.

BTW, thanks for the compliment on my wedding invitations. We're still working on getting our registry set up.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

At least you are laughing and not crying!

Happy Easter!

6:38 PM  
Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

girl....i've soooooo been there!

3:52 PM  
Blogger The Burp Cloth Babe said...

I am so sorry, but I just laughed out loud. It is so funny that these tiny, little people make shopping so difficult. Thanks for the laugh...:)

8:11 PM  
Blogger MIP said...

I'm soooo not looking forward to that stage. I'm now counting my blessings our mister stays in his seat whilst shopping.

11:12 PM  
Blogger lisa said...

I know how much you appreciate a good deal, and I was wondering if you had ever heard of this? I saw it online somewhere and was thinking about doing it, but I'm not sure. I don't really know anything about it.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

Thanks for the tip, Lisa! I'll definitely look into that.

9:58 PM  

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