Sunday, February 08, 2009

To have, and to have not

I've not been good at updating. The truth is, I didn't have good news.

We had hoped to move out of this area by the end of March. That will not happen. This is not the first time my hopes of leaving this place have been dashed. I'm only hoping that it will be the last time.

I try not to be negative on this blog. This is a place to talk about how wonderful Little Elvis is. The times I've been negative are all pretty much tied to my feelings about where we live.

Millions of people live here, I assume most like it. I'm not one of them.

Money is very important here. Very. Very. Important. We are in an odd bubble where the sagging economy hasn't exactly hit our area. People haven't and most likely won't change their lifestyles. A big part of this lifestyle is not only having lots of money, but making sure that other people know that you have lots of money.

Bob and I are extremely frugal. We always have been, even before moving here. Our lifestyle choice never really made us stand out in our other locales.

Here, I feel like a swollen thumb. It's been made so much more apparent since I became a stay-at-home mom. This choice is a luxury for us. But it's very apparent that it's not for the other moms I meet.

No need to give examples. It's just very apparent.

The bigger issue is that I don't want to raise Little Elvis here. I don't want him to think that money is the answer to everything. That he has to buy or be bought to get anywhere in life.

I also don't want him to feel the pressure of never achieving his life's goals because he makes an 80 on a math quiz in the 8th grade.

Kids here are under enormous pressure here. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself to have perfect grades in high school and college, but I didn't really face any societal pressure. I assume Little Elvis will have some, if not most, of my temperament. That coupled with the attitude of perfection here could make his teenage years just awful for him.

We are doing things to ensure a move to a place that doesn't value money as much. I know that place won't be perfect, but hopefully our lifestyle will fit with the community a little better.

I am going to try my best not to focus on my attitude toward this place anymore. We have so much to be thankful for, and this (despite the setback of not moving) has been a great year so far... and our sweet Little Elvis, he of the no naps, turns 2 this week!


Blogger mpotter said...

1st off: happy birthday- wow.

& it sounds like you're making the right choices for your family.
it will be a challenge raising our little ones in this day and age- b/c i know when i was younger, there was a lot less of the "entitlement" factor that seems to be echoed everywhere these days.

i grew up without a lot of things.
and i turned out just fine.

here's hoping little elvis will grow up in a place that teaches him more character than money. and kudos to you guys for recognizing that & helping it along.

good luck!

7:16 PM  
Blogger MIP said...

I completely know what it is like to live in a place you are unhappy with. We spend the last two years prior living in a city I loathed. It can be very trying, especially when one of the biggest reasons you don't want to be there is because it's not where you envision raising your child. Hang in there, it takes time but things will eventually work out. It sounds like you have the right attitude about it.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

He's turning 2 already? How is that possible?

We live in such a materialistic world, and I don't think it's entirely possible to escape it no matter where you live. But, you're so much ahead of the game, because you recognize it, you reject it, and you're going to raise LE to reject it too. Kudos to you!

2:18 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

I can sooo relate to this post. I am finding it so difficult to keep materialism out of the equation. I have found that as the kids are introduced to new circles of friends this struggle has increased. My 5 year old has a new friend he adores, and this little boy is so frigging spoiled - and it is so hard to steer away from that....

Good luck my friend. I am sure you will teach your little man well and be a vey positive influence on his attitudes towards materialism.

Just stay true to yourself and your beliefs in your decision making.


7:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just wondering the other day when Little Elvis will be turning 2 :) I know what you mean, we also are unhappy with where we are living but can't do anything about it right now. It is for different reasons, but still, I know what you mean. It's so hard to live somewhere you don't fit in, you aren't happy, you don't want to raise your child... but I guess the most important thing is that while on one hand you do what you can do be able to move to a place you love, you also make the most of where you are at the time and try to learn as much as you can there.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

2-already, wow! time flies!

12:08 PM  

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