Monday, March 09, 2009

Teaching Mommy, By Little Elvis

I'm a big two-year-old now and my Mommy needs to get with the program. Things are a-changing!

First, I have curly hair. The longer it gets, the curlier it gets. Last week, I had a little curl on the top of my head 3 or 4 days out of the week.
Mommy likes this look, but hasn't figured out to recreate it whenever she wants. Instead she chases me around the house with a camera so she can take pictures of it. Enough, Mommy! I understand that you think these things are cute, but I am a very busy boy.

This brings me to my second lesson: Mommy also needs to accept that I'm a growing boy. I'm tall. And I must have grown in the past week or so, because now I can reach lots of things I couldn't before.
Mommy gave me a handful of Teddy Grahams the other day and put the bag on the back of the stove while she swept the kitchen. Once she left the kitchen, I grabbed the bag, opened it and poured all of the remaining crumbs onto the floor.
I'm probably lucky that Mommy thought this was funny and took pictures.
If I'm not quite tall enough to reach what I want, I am determined enough to find a way to get it. I also have a great memory when it comes to stuff I want.
The day after the Teddy Grahams incident, Mommy had her usual can of Coke for lunch. I've never had Coke, but that red can is shiny and I've wanted to try some for a long, long time. When I was finished eating, Mommy pushed her Coke to the back of the table, pushed her chair under the table and took me to the bathroom.
Then we played in Mommy's room for about 40 minutes and Mommy forgot about her mostly full can of Coke. I did not.
While Mommy hung up some clothes, I raced to the living room, pulled out her chair, reached over(possibly crawled on the table), grabbed her can of Coke and tried to drink that forbidden nectar right from the can.
Mommy came down the hall a few minutes later and found me dripping in Coke, the chair overflowing with the brown liquid and two huge Coke spots on the carpet (I had pulled the chair out far enough to make sure it wasn't on the plastic floor protector.) I was holding the can sideways, trying to figure out why the liquid wouldn't stay inside like it does with my sippy cups.
No pictures taken this time. Mommy had to try and mop all the stuff up before it set in I guess.
You would think Mommy would have learned at this point that I am bound and determined to make a mess with something every day. I am tall enough to reach stuff I formerly couldn't, and determined enough to find my way into even the most difficult bottles.
But she didn't. Today I reached the back of the bathroom counter, snagged my beloved shampoo bottle and ran to hide with it in my tent until I could figure out how to unscrew the cap. Mommy didn't even realize I had the bottle with me! She loaded the dishwasher and I guess she thought I was blowing my nose or something.
By the time she finished with the dishwasher, I had managed to unscrew the cap and pour two huge shampoo puddles on my new road map floor mat. And my timing was great, because we were just about to leave.
I have a feeling that it will be a lot harder for me to cause hijinx tomorrow, but I'm sure I'll find another way to outsmart Mommy!


Blogger lisa said...

Picturing Little E with Coke made me laugh . . . and only because it wasn’t my sweet one this time. It’s not funny when you have to clean it up. I asked him what he wanted to drink the other day and he replied “ummmm . . . . Diet Coke!” Yeah right.

2:35 PM  
Blogger mpotter said...

oh no!!!
but hilarious. great POV piece.

good luck getting schooled by your little one.

3:11 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Oh, LE! You are one crafty and resourceful little boy. Give your mama a break. She's got many more years of chasing you around the house left ahead of her!

4:36 PM  
Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

ooooh, so I don't have the only sneaky little boy?
sorry 'bout your luck, but glad to know I'm not alone!

hahahaha hijinx!

6:32 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

What a little stinker! I keep waiting for something like this to happen to me, so far the worst is really him running off and marking the wall with crayons. Little Elvis certainly is a thinker:)

1:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh dear, oh dear, gotta either laugh or cry I guess! Svara is getting taller by the day, too. She hasn't started climbing on things to reach things yet, but I'm sure that's just around the corner!

7:10 AM  

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