Saturday, July 24, 2010

He's three. He's just three.

This is my sweet Little Elvis. One of the great loves of my life. I so love this little boy, and for the past few weeks I have done nothing but feel like a failure when it comes to him.

Three is so hard, and I'm at a loss sometimes -- most of the time. Maybe all of the time.

We spent a good bit of yesterday crying, yelling and fighting. I spent most of the night fretting and crying.

He is a good boy. He really is. Maybe my expectations are too high? I believe a big source of our issues come from the teacher/parent conference I had last February. They put this little seed in my mind that something was wrong. I was given a book this summer to read about the "Out of Sync Child." He doesn't exhibit any of the real issues the book details, but then he is a picky eater (aren't most kids?) and he doesn't like it when we tell him it's time to clean up his toys (again, do any kids like to do that?) Some of the issues seem like typical kid things, but I've had this constant whisper in my head that gets louder whenever he acts up.

I don't think he's got the issues outlined in the book, though I do believe he used to have some sort of sensory issue with loud music and applause. He seems to be over that for the most part, and loved the fireworks on the fourth of July.

Yesterday was awful, and I don't want to ever have another day like that. I think I'm going to stop reading the book. It's driving me bonkers thinking that something is wrong with him and it's all my fault.

I think he's three. He's just three. He may be dramatic, but if so, he came by it naturally.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Recently, this book has come into my life: The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron, and I have been blown away by it. Where The Out of Sync Child focused on the dysfunction of Sensory Integration, The Highly Sensitive Child boldly insists that there is nothing wrong with possessing these traits, and, in fact, being that 20% of the population possess these traits, being highly sensitive is not dysfunctional or abnormal. It’s just the way some people are and for very good reasons.

So, basically, I’ve found both books to be helpful, but I highly recommend The Highly Sensitive Child because, the author advocates not only an understanding for people with these traits, but honoring and celebrating these traits. It’s the first book I’ve ever found that has said what I’ve been doing and saying all along…

So, what I’m talking about when I say “Out of Sync” or “Highly Sensitive…some common traits:

· Sensitive to a lot of things, if not almost everything: scratchy clothes, textures, noises, lights, changes in routines…

· Feelings are easily hurt, extremely sensitive to criticism

· Easily overwhelmed and confused

· Intuitive

· Activity level either unusually high or low

· Challenges with motor coordination

· Feels things deeply

· Perhaps you think they are overly dramatic, or they over-react

12:51 AM  
Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

I will look for this book. Thank you for the suggestion!

10:07 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

Oh man, it is just three. Trust me. My three year old is at his most challenging stage ever. And I too have sometimes wondered if it is something that could be "fixed". Honestly though I think that this age is just so full of changes in their little bodies - it drives them and us over the edge sometimes. Just don't feel alone though, we all have those days. Especially when we cohabitate with a three year old.

2:17 AM  
Blogger Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I'm going through some similar issues with my three year old. So glad I am not alone. That book The Highly Sensitive Child, sounds like a good one to check out for us both.

2:05 PM  

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