Monday, November 07, 2011

Family of five

We've always wanted three kids. That's been our plan, and we've been lucky enough that we're about to reach that goal.

But it seems that many others don't agree with having more than two kids, and feel the need to offer me their opinions and sympathy.

Some of the sympathy is because we'll have three boys. Apparently folks with girls must have absolutely no problems as parents. They would have me believe that girls just sit politely and don't run, scream, jump or make odd demands. I don't buy this. I have friends with girls. Girls aren't easier. It's more of a personality thing than a boy/girl thing.

It makes me mad when people apologize to me that I'm having boys. I knew that we would be more likely to have another boy, since we already have two. Although Little Elvis and Baby Plum are very different, we already have an idea of what to expect. And we don't have to buy anything new.

I expected the girl pity, but have been shocked at the comments from people who think three kids are too many. The weirdest thing is that I get these comments when the boys are both behaving themselves.

Last week Bob, Baby Plum and I went to visit my grandfather at his nursing home. Baby Plum was happily dancing to the music playing (they had a bluegrass band there!) One of the nurses asked if he liked Lightning McQueen, since he had on a Cars jacket. I told her that he just liked regular cars, and that the jacket was his older brother's. She said, you have another one? And one on the way? Then clucked, but thankfully didn't ask the "Why?" that I could hear in her tone. I'm sure I would have been polite, but I would have been angry.

A woman at Wal-Mart pitied me for having three boys yesterday. And had the nerve to do so after calling Baby Plum a girl and clucking that he looked like a girl with his curls. He was wearing a hunter green turtleneck with navy blue sweater vest.

Basically, I'm saying that if you know someone who's about to have baby #3 or more, boy #3, girl #3, then say congratulations and move on. Especially if you don't know that person. They might be just like us, very happy that their family is about to expand.


Blogger Ann Wyse said...

Oops - I might have been guilty of this. And if so, I apologize.

I love having two boys, although I admit to wanting a girl with the second. Also, now, I'd RATHER have three boys than 2 +1. The first time I heard the expression "matching set" was after Mattias was born and MY FATHER, of all people, was congratulating my cousin on her "matching set." I was like, "matching set?" what does that mean? But then I got it. And I still feel VERY pissed off just thinking about it. Like my cousin had any control over having 1 of each sex.

But I _do_ believe mothers of boys (especially 3 and more) are the coolest people I know. Not that you have any control over it, again.

I've also heard from others that the complimentary after the second child can be tough. My friend on child number 4 was known to burst into tears from people's response.

And now I really am going to stop, like you suggested. I think I'm just very excited for you and It's hard to stop writing. Okay. I'm done:


2:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like your writing style more and more. Hope you someday publish some of these in book form (this one would make a nice chapter).
I was glad Bob and David were boys as they played, studied and worked together so well. I did feel a little sorry for Bob's mom as she would have loved to have a girl.
Enjoy what the Lord has given you.
Grandpa Stew

5:16 PM  
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9:51 PM  

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