Little Elvis and I got to go to an outside playgroup in the neighborhood yesterday. I was so excited, but a little worried about how Little Elvis and I would act. Would he be shy and cling to me? Would I come out of my shell and be more outgoing and talkative with these moms? Would I tell them of my idea for a trunk show/playgroup with Bob (do you know my husband is a
children's entertainer is his spare time?) as entertainment?
This was a margarita/outside playgroup. So, the non-pregnant moms could have a glass of margarita while our little ones played in the nice, big backyard.
We strolled (since I planned on being adventurous and having a margarita!) and were the first ones there.
As soon as I set my little boy down, he was off. He played with the toy lawnmowers, pulled the toddler size croquet wickets out of the ground (and brought them to me) and ran up the sloping side of the backyard. He pretty much ignored the party thrower's two sons, but definitely was not clingy.
I sipped my margarita and made small talk with the mom throwing the bash. Then, the fun began...
Little Elvis wanted to drink out of my cup. Another mother arrived as he whined and grabbed frantically at my cup. He refused to take his water sippy I brought him. He wanted my drink. I tried to crack a joke about how my drink probably would be better than his water, or something stupid like that. The new mother gave me a surprised look, like she thought I wasn't joking. I decided that that attempt at being friendly was bad and didn't crack anymore jokes.
Didn't really get a chance to anyway. By that point, Little Elvis decided that the huge backyard wasn't big enough to contain him. No, he NEEDED to get into the front yard. And he cried and fussed whenever I blocked his path or picked him up to carry him back into the designated play area.
Other mothers arrived. I knew some. I attempted to make small talk and be friendly. But most attempts were thwarted by my sweet Little Elvis. When he wasn't trying to run into the front yard, he was running behind the storage building, --my child was the only one who thought the back of the storage building looked fun --trying to eat rocks from a rock pathway, or picking pretty (just planted) flowers.
I had to dash off from most of my conversations and couldn't be completely into any of them because I was so worried about what he would get into.
After pulling his dirty little fingers out of a pot of potting soil, I decide it's time to go. I say bye to the Mommy throwing the party, apologize for the flower digging and carry my crying little boy out to the stroller.
Bob meets us halfway home and I fret for the rest of the walk about our performance.
Little Elvis overcame his shyness and enjoyed himself to the utmost. I, on the other hand, spent most of the party chasing him around. Several times, I really had to chase him. But there were others where I could have left him to his own devices, (trying to take toys from others, pushing a little boy on a push toy) and I didn't.
I have two thoughts on this: 1. I was using him as an excuse to get out of conversations and the dreaded "dead space" when talking to new people. 2. I was trying very hard not to be "that mom" -- you know, the one who shows up with a wiley toddler and expects everyone else to watch the child while she does not.
Probably it was a mixture of both of these, with a big helping of fear that these women would absolutely not want to attend my possible trunk show/playdate. Then there's the fear that they would want to attend, but would then hate all of my stuff. Not to mention the fact that I'm completely embarrassed about the state of our house.
I'm upset with myself over this. Did my chasing after him make him look like a bad child? He's not. He's a very sweet little boy. He's just also very curious, busy, determined and stubborn. Grr to myself.
Sweet Little Elvis, Mommy will try harder next time.